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I Hate This

Everyone else should know
I don’t want anyone but you
How many times must I say that
Till my message gets through?

They think my intentions are wrong
When I can't imagine why
The simple things make me happy
But rejection may make me cry

That’s why I’m so afraid
Of telling you how I feel
It sucks ‘cause I consciously know
That this feeling’s real

It’d be nice if it were a phase
Or just infatuation
But it’s just not that simple
Theirs far too much complication

When you look at me, I melt
When you smile, I smile too
When you speak to me, I can feel my face flush
But it’s only around you

It’s only around you that I get nervous
That I start acting differently
I don’t know why it’s so hard
To just remain as me

Sometimes I wish you knew
About how much I want you around
But if you don’t feel the same
I’ll feel like such a stupid clown

I can't make myself vulnerable
But then I’ll never have a chance
I just hate that this situation
Is one I must leave to circumstance

Jennifer R. / July 30, 2007

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